Search found 3792 matches

by EvilBastard
19 Mar 2020, 01:54
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11
Replies: 410
Views: 49127

Sure, the world may be falling apart around our ears, we live under the shadow of an invisible plague which kill us all, my neighbours are stocking up on guns and ammo (seriously, dude? What, you're going to...shoot the virus?), our elected officials are demonstrating that they couldn't organise a p...
by EvilBastard
19 Mar 2020, 01:49
Forum: General Chat
Topic: COVID-19 coronavirus
Replies: 355
Views: 26601

SmileySister wrote:All UK school closing from Friday and GCSE's and A Levels cancelled. Stay well & safe xx
This is going to s-u-c-k for anyone who did not a stroke of work for their mocks and figured that they could pull it out of the hat for the real thing.
by EvilBastard
16 Mar 2020, 21:27
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread
Replies: 780
Views: 109386

Just to confirm - my class stated that their least favourite biscuits were custard creams, followed by plain hobnobs. Custard Creams are Covid-19 in baked form, Nice biscuits are infused with SARS before they leave the factory, and it's a matter of public record that plain Hobnobs were Peter Sutcli...
by EvilBastard
13 Mar 2020, 01:20
Forum: General Chat
Topic: COVID-19 coronavirus
Replies: 355
Views: 26601

Same here in the States. I'm in DC, and all social, cultural, musical, etc., events are cancelled for at least a month. In Maryland (where I teach), it looks like all colleges and universities are moving all classes to online delivery until early April, and we're getting hints that it may go beyond...
by EvilBastard
11 Mar 2020, 20:18
Forum: General Chat
Topic: COVID-19 coronavirus
Replies: 355
Views: 26601

"prunes through a short grandmother" :lol: Can't remember where I heard it first, but it has become my go to when "sh i t off a shovel" is not an appropriate simile for something that happens very quickly. Mr. Pratchett (PBUH) used a similar expression in Mort - in deference to local botany he amen...
by EvilBastard
10 Mar 2020, 20:21
Forum: General Chat
Topic: COVID-19 coronavirus
Replies: 355
Views: 26601

The torygraph are actually seeing the "positives" of the virus culling the elderly :roll: What they mean of course is "elderly people on low/fixed incomes who can't afford to stay at home and get groceries delivered, i.e. no-one who reads our newspaper." I feel confident that once three or four Tor...
by EvilBastard
10 Mar 2020, 12:03
Forum: General Chat
Topic: COVID-19 coronavirus
Replies: 355
Views: 26601

"Find your favourite lyric that lasts 20 seconds," they said. "It will help you to make sure you wash your hands thoroughly," they said. So I found a line of music that lasted 20 seconds. Nice, solid, 4/4 beat, easy to make sure that you didn't go too quickly. Simple words to remember. Which is how ...
by EvilBastard
09 Mar 2020, 22:40
Forum: General Chat
Topic: If you're having a bad day... (currently happy)
Replies: 895
Views: 171610

Great news, EMWK! :notworthy: :notworthy:

Of course, if cannabis oil is not available, he could try cold beer and pretzels - I get all my medical advice from Sparks, which my not be entirely reliable...
by EvilBastard
06 Mar 2020, 22:03
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The song title game normal speed Moby Remix
Replies: 696
Views: 39679

Don't Pull Your Love Out On Me Baby - Hamilton, Joe Frank, & Reynolds
by EvilBastard
06 Mar 2020, 20:20
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The song title game normal speed Moby Remix
Replies: 696
Views: 39679

Dead Billy - Big Black
by EvilBastard
05 Mar 2020, 23:45
Forum: General Chat
Topic: (Yet Another) Currently Being Pissed Off By...
Replies: 335
Views: 50614

Is this a bit of a humblebrag? :lol: But genuinely I rocked up fully intending to go to work, saw people picketing, and just couldn't do it. I ain't no scab. Top man! Someone once told me that if you don't stand for something then you'll fall for anything - principles are worth having. True, they w...
by EvilBastard
04 Mar 2020, 18:35
Forum: General Chat
Topic: COVID-19 coronavirus
Replies: 355
Views: 26601

Well no, though I'm sure there's a few folk for whom the prospect of dying in Von's armpit would be considered the very essence of romance :lol: :urff: :von: Well, if Brut can pass itself of as "the mark of a man" then I reckon there could be some mileage in :von: marketing a cologne. I can see it ...
by EvilBastard
29 Feb 2020, 07:08
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Re-re-run of currently watching
Replies: 362
Views: 34362

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNTdjZjBkMDMtODBlNi00N2E0LWE1OGItOTgxODNmMDkzNGJmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjg2NjQwMDQ@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,675,1000_AL_.jpg Highly recommend. You'll need to pay attention, mind - the sight gags come thick and fast from the opening scene on, and there's plenty to keep the ...
by EvilBastard
24 Feb 2020, 17:50
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Geek Anvil (currently geeking...)
Replies: 492
Views: 122187

For those of us who spend most of our lives feeling with extreme geekery, I feel that this site may be useful.

HTTPS://http.cat

There may also be cross-threading because error code 418.
by EvilBastard
01 Feb 2020, 01:02
Forum: General Chat
Topic: If you're having a bad day... (currently happy)
Replies: 895
Views: 171610

This is absolutely nothing to do with biscuits but I'm happy because I've had an amazing idea. Hot water with a teaspoon of mustard dissolved in it. Proper English mustard, not that American yellow shi te. It's probably disgusting but I'm not going to rest until I've tried it. As soon as I work up ...
by EvilBastard
29 Jan 2020, 03:02
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread
Replies: 780
Views: 109386

Oh best beloveds, the time has come to share with you the most momentous news. Are you ready for this? FUCT is pleased, proud, and honoured to announce that, in partnership with Netflix, it is sponsoring Vir Das' comedy special, "Vir Das: for India". In recognition of this, Mr Das has included in hi...
by EvilBastard
29 Jan 2020, 00:27
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The Bread Thread
Replies: 50
Views: 2901

peanut butter insertion may knacker your toaster. oi! putting the butter inside reduces the wait time AND increases the butter amount. Well, knackering your toaster is certainly better than toasting your knackers. But if you only make a small incision in the crumpet, and then wiggle the knife about...
by EvilBastard
28 Jan 2020, 07:13
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The Bread Thread
Replies: 50
Views: 2901

splintered thing wrote: Ahem...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bagel_toast

This mrs likes a toasted bagel and consider it sanctioned by them wot made em. :lol:
I'll see your "ahem" and I'll raise an Oi! You with the face!

Also Toasting a good bagel is bastardizing a beautiful thing.
by EvilBastard
28 Jan 2020, 01:19
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The Bread Thread
Replies: 50
Views: 2901

crumpets. before toasting cut a slit in the edge, to about half way, like a pitta. after toasting, insert butter. Could you insert something like peanut butter before toasting so you got a lovely warm gooey centre? It would be like biting into a fresh jam donut (except with peanut butter, and I sus...
by EvilBastard
27 Jan 2020, 01:17
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The Bread Thread
Replies: 50
Views: 2901

Now crumpets however, they do need a good crispy burnt top, they can take it, as you've still got that squidgy middle. Absolutely correct. Same with Bagels. :wink: Now, while it is true that I am not a member of FuCT, the two organisations do have an agreement whereby if a member of one sees someon...
by EvilBastard
26 Jan 2020, 19:17
Forum: General Chat
Topic: The Bread Thread
Replies: 50
Views: 2901

Pretty sure F.U.C.T. will have some input at some stage. Well they would, were it not for the Tea n'Toast Treaty of 1597 which brought to an end more than 200 years of religious genocide between FUCT and FuCT (Freiheit für unser Charred Toast) over whose doctrine held sway in the kitchens of chris...
by EvilBastard
22 Jan 2020, 01:14
Forum: General Chat
Topic: If you're having a bad day... (currently happy)
Replies: 895
Views: 171610

CH because today I started my new job. Seems to be a nice company, everyone very friendly, and the product managers all get a stuffed cat to put on their desks. I don't quite understand why (I'm sure it will be explained). I'm working on the company's "problem child" which pleases me more than worki...
by EvilBastard
17 Jan 2020, 16:47
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11
Replies: 410
Views: 49127

Be afraid. Be very afraid. If, like me, you carry any of this iconography on your leathers or elsewhere (and I'm honestly surprised that the fist smashing a swastika isn't included on the list of left wing groups) then be aware that it's not unlikely that you will come to the attention of the rozze...
by EvilBastard
17 Jan 2020, 16:41
Forum: General Chat
Topic: Conflicted about this product
Replies: 7
Views: 1110

Taking the pi ss out of Goths! how original....they'll be calling us weirdoes and beating us to death next.. if the (joke) product was called "Tinker's Tanning Lotion" " or "Poofter's Haemorrhoid Cream" or "Darkie's Lip Balm" it wouldn't be allowed. am i being touchy? maybe if they HADN'T beaten on...