Christmas holidays

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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elamanamou
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I go away at Christmas. This year going away to Bavaria for a short break. Because I have no children it's so much easier to just escape! I personally think Christmas has lost it's true meaning and is far too commercial!!

:roll:
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EvilBastard
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I go away too. Couple of reasons:

- Christmas is way too stressful to be surrounded by family. Everyone is so worked up about making sure that everyone else has a good time that no-one has a good time.

- I'd sooner entrust my clockweights to a pack of hungry rabid ferrets than spend an already-stressful time with the majority of the people I'm related to. To be fair some of them are alright, but most of them don't live in England either.

- Flights back to England at this time of year are cripplingly expensive, and for that money I could do something that I would enjoy more.

- Midwinter in England doesn't have enough to recommend it. Sorry, but there it is. If it snowed, fine - and if everything functioned when it snowed, fine too. But it doesn't, and when it snows the nation grinds to a halt. We had a spot of rain last week and apparently we're not used to it. Go figure.

So I'm off to Costa Rica next weekend to spend the festive season surrounded by sloths (my favourite deadly sin), local hooch (Guaro), rain-forest and a pile of books I keep meaning to read but never get around to. I shall also be resuming a former smoking habit - I'm on the ecigs these days but feel that I'm allowed to smoke if I'm on holiday.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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elamanamou
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Have a nice time in Costa Rica. You lucky thing! :) :)
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EvilBastard
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elamanamou wrote:Have a nice time in Costa Rica. You lucky thing! :) :)
Und viel Spaß in Bayern! :D Spent Christmas in Nürnberg once, lovely lovely lovely. Snow, hot wine, white snow - proper chrimbo.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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rien
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I'M GOING HOME

I'm mentally ticking off the days. Can't wait. I don't miss the people so much (most of my friends live even further away), but the forest, the streets, the food, "my" flat... Especially not having to tolerate flatmates :twisted:
“Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.�
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Norman Hunter
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At home. In Leeds. With The Wife and daughters.
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Bartek
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Chsitsmat eve and half day of christmas at home of my future fiancée,
then home and my mum and brothers.
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stufarq
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Bartek wrote:Chsitsmat eve and half day of christmas at home of my future fiancée,
then home and my mum and brothers.
Future fiancée? You're going to ask her to marry you and you're assuming she'll say yes? Or does she have no choice because you have nuclear missiles pointed at every major city in the world?
Any more of that and we'll be round your front door with the quick-setting whitewash and the shaved monkey.
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markfiend
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Lots of driving backwards and forwards for me. It makes the whole "festive season" a real PITA
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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elamanamou
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I do understand if you have children that you would

want to spend Christmas at home. I have 2 cats Tabitha and Jessica and I'm lucky they don't know it's Christmas!! :lol:
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Bartek
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stufarq wrote:
Bartek wrote:Chsitsmat eve and half day of christmas at home of my future fiancée,
then home and my mum and brothers.
Future fiancée? You're going to ask her to marry you and you're assuming she'll say yes? Or does she have no choice because you have nuclear missiles pointed at every major city in the world?
Yes, yes I have missiles, Shahida belt, banana and soft cushion - she has no choice. She's going to say yes or I said it in her name.
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Johnny Rev 7.0
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I don't stress. I've learnt who is important in my life, and who isn't.

It's been a torrid year, but I will have four specially invited German guests for a traditional English Christmas dinner.

They'll watch the Queen's Speech and then tuck in. Which will be a novelty to them.

Assuming I haven't burnt the turkey. :wink:
What a season
to be beautiful
without a reason
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EvilBastard
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elamanamou wrote:I do understand if you have children that you would

want to spend Christmas at home. I have 2 cats Tabitha and Jessica and I'm lucky they don't know it's Christmas!! :lol:
Here's some ideas to help get them into the festive spirit.

But if you're going to order them online and have them posted, make sure you're at home to receive the package or Tabitha and Jessica may be empty-pawed come the 25th!
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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elamanamou
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Thankyou for the link. Tabitha and Jessica always get a stocking!!

I must say my cats are very spoilt and very fussy with their food. I bought a tin of Waitrose Sardines and they both turned their noses up at such luxury!! Cats have been amongst us human's for thousand of yrs and they pick up human characteristics. Classic example a cat is always happy to see you when food is on offer or they want something. When nothing is on offer they turn their backs. Very similar to us! :lol:
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Bartek
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Dogs acting the same, except that dog let you sleep at night (if he/she doesn't want No.1 or No. 2). Well, at least Husky.
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paint it black
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Not being at hospital for once is my aim
Goths have feelings too
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elamanamou
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PIB. Hope your daughter is ok and that you all have a happy and healthy Christmas
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Being645
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No plans for Xmas here. I don't even have a tree or such stuff. All I hope for is that I manage not to do the same (any useless alltogether) things I always do for a few days and really take a break.
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stufarq
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markfiend wrote:Lots of driving backwards and forwards for me. It makes the whole "festive season" a real PITA
I'm not a driver, but I believe it's called "reversing".
Any more of that and we'll be round your front door with the quick-setting whitewash and the shaved monkey.
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stufarq
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Bartek wrote:banana and soft cushion
:?: :eek:
I don't think I want to know, do I?
Any more of that and we'll be round your front door with the quick-setting whitewash and the shaved monkey.
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rien
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stufarq wrote:
Bartek wrote:banana and soft cushion
:?: :eek:
I don't think I want to know, do I?
Great source of potassium and improving sitting experience?
“Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.�
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Bartek
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stufarq wrote:
Bartek wrote:banana and soft cushion
:?: :eek:
I don't think I want to know, do I?
I don't know what's on your mind. Perv.
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Phil
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I'm looking forward to a really enjoyable Christmas day with just me, the wife and the three children. Bliss.

After that, of course,it's the s**t Boxing Day where the bloody in-laws rock up and spoil the atmos.
Anger Is An Energy
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EvilBastard
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Not a chrimbo holiday, per se, but rather than start a new thread...

I've booked me olibobs to The Hermit Kingdom, the "Democratic" People's Republic of North Korea, reasoning that, since my plans for retirement have encountered what my financial adviser refers to as "a great big cock up the arse, sans lube" (it's an industry term, apparently), the prospect of being arrested for doing something to offend local sensibilities and sentenced to 30 years on a collective re-education farm eating turnips or twigs or something is more appealing than spending my twilight years shuffling down to the food bank in a pair of carpet slippers and a shabby dressing gown sporting an assortment of unmentionable stains.

Indeed, while we have been briefed extensively on Dos and Don'ts (Do bow in front of the statue of Dear Leader, Don't wear a t-shirt with pictures of Ms Bassinger, Ms Cattrell, Ms Novak, and Mr. Jong-Un on it, bearing the legend "These Are A Few Of My Favourite Kims"), the fact that they have recently outlawed sarcasm makes it almost certain that I will not get out of the airport without being arrested, or possibly gunned down in a hail of high-velocity lead.

So stay tuned to your Independent News Source over the coming weeks - if you hear that a Briton has been invited to view NK's next nuclear test from the test chamber itself, that'll be me.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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Pat
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That sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity, don't forget to write,send lots of photos and have a great time.
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