I am 800 years old

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
CorpPunk
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To whit:

My passport expires in two years. Was I ever 18? I can't remember anymore.

Those little frown lines in my forehead are still there even after I stop making the actual facial expression. Light moisturisers 'for young skin' are no longer enough.

I went to the doctor today because I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, and while she examined me she said, 'Did you know you're having a muscle spasm?' A what? I'm twenty-six. Any spasms I have should not be in my back.

My knees pop when it rains.

My 'first quarter of life' crisis is now a 'first third of life' crisis. I refuse to accept that 'first half of life' translates to midlife. Refuse.

Did someone forget to inform God that I can't have a first childhood while in physical therapy? Phew, that post was exhausting. I'm off to have a brisk lie down.
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Big Si
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CorpPunk wrote:To whit:

My passport expires in two years. Was I ever 18? I can't remember anymore.

Those little frown lines in my forehead are still there even after I stop making the actual facial expression. Light moisturisers 'for young skin' are no longer enough.

I went to the doctor today because I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, and while she examined me she said, 'Did you know you're having a muscle spasm?' A what? I'm twenty-six. Any spasms I have should not be in my back.

My knees pop when it rains.

My 'first quarter of life' crisis is now a 'first third of life' crisis. I refuse to accept that 'first half of life' translates to midlife. Refuse.

Did someone forget to inform God that I can't have a first childhood while in physical therapy? Phew, that post was exhausting. I'm off to have a brisk lie down.
And the adam's apple ain't getting any smaller, and as for the 5 o'clock shadow! :wink: :lol:
Wyrd bið ful aræd...

mybelgiannemesis
CorpPunk
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Yeah, except now I'm getting ear hair! :lol:
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Brideoffrankenstein
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CorpPunk wrote:My knees pop when it rains.
So do mine. Sometimes my knees hurt so much I can't stand up. I went to the doc's about it and he said it was "Wear and tear". I said "I thought knees were supposed to last more than 24 years", but no... I am 800 years old too :cry:
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lazarus corporation
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you two girls obviously spend far too long on your knees.

:innocent:
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nodubmanshouts
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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Location: California

Personally, I find the nose hair to be the biggest issue.

Knees were going, but are now at the state of stopping me from dancing. That's okay though, nothing new I really want to dance to.

On the plus side, a regular adult wage stops me from having to go through the ash tray the day before the giro turns up in order to find a useable ciggy-butt. And in a mere 20 years I can retire, move to small tropical island in the pacific and ogle cute Japanese tourists day in, day out.

The trade may well be worth while...
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Brideoffrankenstein
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lazarus corporation wrote:you two girls obviously spend far too long on your knees.

:innocent:
:lol:
See the Billy Idol vs Amazulu thread
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rian
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Ah, getting old

Nose hair
Ear hair
Grey hair
Less hair on your head
Beer belly

Don't miss my youth at all :innocent:
I think someone set my soul alight
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Debaser
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CorpPunk wrote:To whit:



I went to the doctor today because I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, and while she examined me she said, 'Did you know you're having a muscle spasm?' A what? I'm twenty-six. Any spasms I have should not be in my back.

My knees pop when it rains.
Got any ideas how they were caused?? Think back to August, you think the trouble started then? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Five cups of coffee just to be myself...when I'd rather be somebody else
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Debaser
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And as for creaking bones? Bloody hell, my knees, back, shoulder and hips are totally shot.

I like to blame the horses...not the fact I'm gettin on.

Pass me the Sanatogen, Ralgex and support tights!!!
Five cups of coffee just to be myself...when I'd rather be somebody else
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nigel d
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you know when your getting too old........
most of your friends live in boxes in the cemetery.


you start syaing things to your kids that your parents said to you.(i found myself telling my15year old to turn his music DOWN....!!!!!!!)

here come the slippers and pipe.....
i am more likely to release an album before the sisters
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Shadow_Smile
Uw voeten stinken
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Old ???

My GF calls me a child all the time !

so the only thing that is getting old is my body
I was quite impressed until I hit the floor,.....Isn’t that what friends are for ?
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markfiend
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With you on that one SS

My knees are fooked tooo though. It's from when I built our fitted kitchen units; kneeling on a cold concrete floor (before we fitted the linoleum) is not good for your knees.
advanced, forthright, signifficant
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Marc
Road Kill
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Joined: 29 Dec 2004, 18:36

nigel d wrote:you know when your getting too old........
most of your friends live in boxes in the cemetery.


you start syaing things to your kids that your parents said to you.(i found myself telling my15year old to turn his music DOWN....!!!!!!!)

here come the slippers and pipe.....
Exept!! When they play TSOM! :D
Last edited by Marc on 18 Jan 2005, 18:29, edited 1 time in total.
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rian
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markfiend wrote:With you on that one SS

My knees are fooked tooo though. It's from when I built our fitted kitchen units; kneeling on a cold concrete floor (before we fitted the linoleum) is not good for your knees.
I had a surgery on my right knee 2 years ago. Now I need one on my left knee.

37.....
I think someone set my soul alight
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Francis
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CorpPunk wrote:a pinched nerve in my lower back
You have all my sympathy. I suffer from sciatica and when it's bad the pain is excrutiating. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Not even on Richey. ;D
And you know that she's half crazy but that's why you want to be there.
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Francis
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markfiend wrote:It's from when I built our fitted kitchen units
What were you thinking of?
And you know that she's half crazy but that's why you want to be there.
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Loki
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Francis wrote:
CorpPunk wrote:a pinched nerve in my lower back
You have all my sympathy. I suffer from sciatica and when it's bad the pain is excrutiating. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Not even on Richey. ;D
You told me it was a result of slam dancing with PiB ... :innocent:
Loki was never worshiped as the other Gods,
Which is quite understandable.
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Shadow_Smile
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markfiend wrote:With you on that one SS

My knees are fooked tooo though. It's from when I built our fitted kitchen units; kneeling on a cold concrete floor (before we fitted the linoleum) is not good for your knees.
rian wrote:
markfiend wrote:With you on that one SS

My knees are fooked tooo though. It's from when I built our fitted kitchen units; kneeling on a cold concrete floor (before we fitted the linoleum) is not good for your knees.
I had a surgery on my right knee 2 years ago. Now I need one on my left knee.

37.....
I had a motor crash when I was about 19 /20 was on the back and the driver made a wrong turn, I ended up with my left knee frontal on a tree !

For the first time in my live I admid to have cried !

It took me 2 years of fysio theraphy to get my knee working again.
I was quite impressed until I hit the floor,.....Isn’t that what friends are for ?
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markfiend
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Francis wrote:
markfiend wrote:It's from when I built our fitted kitchen units
What were you thinking of?
Were you not the kind of lad who made Airfix models?

It's like that except bigger :lol:
advanced, forthright, signifficant
CorpPunk
Pirate of Penzance
Posts: 882
Joined: 29 Sep 2003, 05:48

Debaser wrote:
CorpPunk wrote:To whit:



I went to the doctor today because I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, and while she examined me she said, 'Did you know you're having a muscle spasm?' A what? I'm twenty-six. Any spasms I have should not be in my back.

My knees pop when it rains.
Got any ideas how they were caused?? Think back to August, you think the trouble started then? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Even looking at it objectively, I fail to see how spending five minutes having my lower body battered against a rickety wooden roller coaster car could possibly cause lasting nerve damage. Sheesh. :innocent:
CorpPunk
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Francis wrote:
CorpPunk wrote:a pinched nerve in my lower back
You have all my sympathy. I suffer from sciatica and when it's bad the pain is excrutiating. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Not even on Richey. ;D
Luckily, mine's only mild to moderate, and I have hopes that the physical therapy will knock it out. But my situation begs the question: Is the sciatica caused by the muscle spasms, or does the sciatica beget the spasms? Either way it's depressing.

But it does remind me of the age-old question: Do I listen to The Smiths because I'm depressed, or am I depressed because I listen to The Smiths? Boggles the aged mind, really.
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Francis
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JB wrote:You told me it was a result of slam dancing with PiB
Shhhsh! Don't remind him.
And you know that she's half crazy but that's why you want to be there.
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Francis
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markfiend wrote:Were you not the kind of lad who made Airfix models?
That was just to disguise my glue-sniffing activities.
And you know that she's half crazy but that's why you want to be there.
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Francis
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CorpPunk wrote:Is the sciatica caused by the muscle spasms, or does the sciatica beget the spasms?
I was told that the spasms are caused by the continual tensing of the muscles in an attempt to maintain a better posture to ease the pressure on the nerve. Good luck with the physio. If all else fails, alcohol and ibuprofen work well together. :innocent:
And you know that she's half crazy but that's why you want to be there.
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