The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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UnnaturalDisaster
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Over-dunked biscuit disintegrated in mug of tea. :cry:
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Swinnow
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Ahh, that peculiarly British pastime of dunking yer biccy, can't beat it. In a very lazy moment this morning I found myself dunking bourbons in my orange squash!
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Swinnow wrote:Ahh, that peculiarly British pastime of dunking yer biccy, can't beat it. In a very lazy moment this morning I found myself dunking bourbons in my orange squash!
Bourbons are an eminently dunkable biscuit. Rich Tea, also, while Digestives should be avoided by the neophyte on account of their particularly absorbent properties (chocolate covered digestives are the exception to this rule, although they are only available to dunkers of the 3rd dan and above, since neophytes have not passed through the necessary grades of bisuketto kanshō lit. "appreciation of the erotic arts of the baking of refreshing tea-time delights"). In my local dojo we use Garibaldi or "squashed fly" biscuits as a training aid, since these can be dunked for an infinite amount of time without succumbing to Fatal Tea Absorption or chimei-tea-kina kyūshū.
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Hobnobs are terrible dunkees too.
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Alex66
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UnnaturalDisaster wrote:
Alex66 wrote:Doctor deciding to prescribe me 60 painkillers for 28 days when I say I go through 4-8 a day. On my notes it has knows what he is doing with medication, alas that doctor retired. So now I am in the position of too much pain that knocks on to no energy that increases the pain and so on. FFS I have been taking various pain killers for 9 years, have swapped from one highly addictive opiate to another and coped with the s**t of withdrawal each time. I know they are addictive but and not healthy but its a simple choice, some vestige of life or none as I can do nothing.
This sounds super shitty. Is it a GP or a consultant doing the prescribing?
Its a GP, now they changed the way I can book appointments its impossible to see the same one all the time too.
I am a fan of the French Petit Buere biscuits dunked in an espresso on a side note, rarely had issues with the old Digestive as a dunker.
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Alex66 wrote:I am a fan of the French Petit Buere biscuits dunked in an espresso on a side note, rarely had issues with the old Digestive as a dunker.
Do you not find that espresso cups are too small to permit a really good dunk?
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EvilBastard wrote:
Alex66 wrote:I am a fan of the French Petit Buere biscuits dunked in an espresso on a side note, rarely had issues with the old Digestive as a dunker.
Do you not find that espresso cups are too small to permit a really good dunk?
No in the spirit of human decency I use a bigger cup with 5 or 6 shots it.
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Swinnow wrote:Ahh, that peculiarly British pastime of dunking yer biccy, can't beat it. In a very lazy moment this morning I found myself dunking bourbons in my orange squash!
There's a taste sensation that's transported me straight back to Sunday school!
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Swinnow wrote:Ahh, that peculiarly British pastime of dunking yer biccy, can't beat it. In a very lazy moment this morning I found myself dunking bourbons in my orange squash!
Try it with Tim Tams.
Bite the ends off & then suck your coffee/ tea through it like it was a straw.
:D
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Pista wrote:
Swinnow wrote:Ahh, that peculiarly British pastime of dunking yer biccy, can't beat it. In a very lazy moment this morning I found myself dunking bourbons in my orange squash!
Try it with Tim Tams.
Bite the ends off & then suck your coffee/ tea through it like it was a straw.
:D
This technique is crying out for chocolate fingers surely?

And aren't Tim Tams just slightly inferior Penguins... :eek: ?
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Tim Tams are way better than penguins :D
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Pista wrote:Tim Tams are way better than penguins :D
Better than penguins? :?
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Is it time to split this into a new theme? I feel that there ought to be something a little more subdued than "Currently rather pleased by" wherein we can come together as a community to share our passion for hot-beverage-soaked baked goods (Assam, Lapsang, and Oolong - Oh Chai: Which Teas Are Best For Dunking?, When You Dunk See Me: tales of covert dunking in situations where it isn't appropriate, and the like). 'tis a theme poorly covered in this forum, I feel.
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ruffers wrote:
Pista wrote:
Swinnow wrote:Ahh, that peculiarly British pastime of dunking yer biccy, can't beat it. In a very lazy moment this morning I found myself dunking bourbons in my orange squash!
Try it with Tim Tams.
Bite the ends off & then suck your coffee/ tea through it like it was a straw.
:D
This technique is crying out for chocolate fingers surely?

And aren't Tim Tams just slightly inferior Penguins... :eek: ?
Well, you'd have to bite both ends off a chocolate finger to achieve this, and Nice People (as distinct from Nice biscuits, which some cognoscenti would argue are neither) Don't Do That. Especially when a Bourbon is more than up to the task.
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ruffers wrote:This technique is crying out for chocolate fingers surely?
[Hastily adds them to shopping list.]
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I'm just going to leave this here...

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EvilBastard wrote:Is it time to split this into a new theme? I feel that there ought to be something a little more subdued than "Currently rather pleased by" wherein we can come together as a community to share our passion for hot-beverage-soaked baked goods (Assam, Lapsang, and Oolong - Oh Chai: Which Teas Are Best For Dunking?, When You Dunk See Me: tales of covert dunking in situations where it isn't appropriate, and the like). 'tis a theme poorly covered in this forum, I feel.
You're reading my mind ;)
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UnnaturalDisaster wrote:I'm just going to leave this here...

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Ewww :urff:
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UnnaturalDisaster wrote:I'm just going to leave this here...
Heretic! Burn Him/Her!

Can we agree that biscuits can be broadly classified into 4 types:

1. Biscuits. Proper biscuits. Digestives, Rich Tea, Lincoln, Garibaldi, HobNobs, Bourbon and the like.

2. "Biscuits for cheese". Properly described as "crackers". Water biscuits and similar.

3. Hybrid Biscuits. TimTams, Penguins, Club, Wagon Wheels, Yorkie, Jaffa Cakes.

4. Everything else. This includes any biscuits of the flavoured variety - Ritz, Cheddars, Tim Tams Cheese variety :roll: . Not true biscuits, not even a hybrid, but an Offence Before Gods which should be banished to the outer darkness in terms of biscuitt discussions. I don't mean to be an extremist, or ultra-orthodox, but I do feel that Standards Need To Be Maintained.
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You've put a lot of thought into this EB
:lol:
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As an unabashed fat lass, it seems somehow appropriate that this topic has inadvertently spawned my first thread. :lol:
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Pista wrote:You've put a lot of thought into this EB
:lol:
Advanced years enable one to gain a perspective on what's important in life. Time was when my mind was a blizzard of thoughts of work, career, sex, and Do I Know Anyone With Good Gear. With the passing of time one finds that the ephemera fades into the background, and one is able to focus on the fundamentals - where are the teabags, is there milk in the fridge, what is the shortest distance between (a) [where I am], and (b) [where the biscuits are], and Do I Trust This Person Not To Put The Milk In Before Taking The Tea Bag Out?
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Try dunking this.
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:lol:
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Bring it on, we know our dunking up north

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