Two from the Vault:
Q. What's the fastest thing on 4 legs?
A. A pig running through Cambodia (or Ethiopia - pick your famine).
Q. What's the fastest thing on 2 legs?
A. The Cambodian (Ethiopian) running after it.
Famous Quotes:
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
Franklin D Roosevelt, 1933
"We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender."
Winston Churchill, 1940
"What the fuck was that?!"
Lord Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945
A leper walks into a bar...
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EvilBastard
- Overbomber
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- Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
- Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Hank Moody
From a more recent vault:
Q: What's got four legs and goes woof?
A: Piper Alpha.
Q: What's got four legs and goes woof?
A: Piper Alpha.
"We have too many cellphones. We've got too many internets. We have got to get rid of those machines. We have too many machines now." - Ray Bradbury.
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EvilBastard
- Overbomber
- Posts: 3903
- Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
- Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
From a very specific vault:
Q. What's 47' long and likes to swallow semen?
A. The Penlee lifeboat.
Q. What's 47' long and likes to swallow semen?
A. The Penlee lifeboat.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Hank Moody
From another very specific vault:
Q: What were they drinking on Challenger before it exploded?
A: 7UP
Q: What were they drinking on Challenger before it exploded?
A: 7UP
"We have too many cellphones. We've got too many internets. We have got to get rid of those machines. We have too many machines now." - Ray Bradbury.
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eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9689
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
Q: what does NASA stand for?zaltys7 wrote:From another very specific vault:
Q: What were they drinking on Challenger before it exploded?
A: 7UP
A: Need Another Seven Astronauts
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
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EvilBastard
- Overbomber
- Posts: 3903
- Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
- Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
A2: Need Another Shuttle Alsoeastmidswhizzkid wrote: Q: what does NASA stand for?
A: Need Another Seven Astronauts
Q. How do you know that there was a teacher on the shuttle?
A. She left her pupils on the beach
(cf Q. How do you know the girl in "Jaws" had dandruff?
A. She left her head and shoulders on the beach)
Q. How do you get 9 astronauts in a Mini?
A. 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and the Challenger crew in the ashtray
(cf Q. How do you get 5 royals in a Mini?
A. 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and Mountbatten in the ashtray)
(cf Q. How do you get 5 Indians in a Mini?
A. 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and Indira Gandhi in the ashtray)
Q. How do you get two whales in a Mini?
A. Down the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.
Bonus:
Apparently they asked Elton John to do a song for Mother Theresa's funeral. He obliged: "Sandals in the bin".
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Hank Moody
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eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9689
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
Q: how do you fuck a Tory?
A: AK-47....
A: AK-47....
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"