The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Pista
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:eek: :lol:
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Pista
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Burn the heretics!
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emilystrange
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oh lord, how awful
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ROBBIE
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You would need a big cup to dunk that :lol:
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Now even hot tea gives us cancer?
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Now even hot tea gives us cancer?
Extensive biscuit therapy will be needed then
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Pista wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Now even hot tea gives us cancer?
Extensive biscuit therapy will be needed then
and perhaps the ripples caused by the very act of dunking, cools down the surface of the tea enough to remove all risk?

Further research is clearly required. A project for FUCT, perhaps.
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote: Further research is clearly required. A project for FUCT, perhaps.
:lol: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy:
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iesus
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Cookies are Coming!! ;D
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emilystrange
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do these people have anything to do? :D
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iesus wrote:Cookies are Coming!! ;D
That is awesome!
:lol: :notworthy:
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Being645
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iesus wrote:Cookies are Coming!! ;D
oreo ... :lol: :notworthy: ...
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I fear that I may have strayed from The Light. I've just spent a week in Japan (work-related) and every day the housekeeping staff placed 2 of these with my tea/coffee making supplies:
Image

Now, I recognise that they are not biscuits per se, but if there was ever a baked good that was more addictive than crack cocaine then this is it. By Tuesday I found myself jonesing for their sweet buttery deliciousness, and made discrete enquiries as to where they could be procured. Fortunately my colleagues in the office were able to hook me up with a connection. I bought a box of 10. By Thursday I'd scoffed the lot. So I bought some more with the honest intention of eating only 1 or 2 and bringing the rest home. Fat chance. Fortunately they sell them at the airport (tax-free!) so have brought some back with me, but I fear that they will not last very long.

They also suck at dunking.
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Well, they're on my list for the next visit to that Asian supermarket in Budapest
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It only took this guy 29 years to perfectly isolate the filling from a Bourbon biccie
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Pista wrote:It only took this guy 29 years to perfectly isolate the filling from a Bourbon biccie
A giant walks among us, brethren - let this man take his rightful place in the pantheon alongside other heroes of our island: Scott, Gordon, Dwyer, Kitchener, Edwards. May. Let his name be familiar in our mouths as household words, with Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester. Let monuments be erected to him, streets named after him, the empty plinth in Trafalgar Square be dedicated to a statue to him and his mighty achievement.
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:lol: :lol:

!Knighthood. Knighthood!
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emilystrange
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But bourbons are horrible!
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emilystrange wrote:But bourbons are horrible!
Tssk, how very dare you :lol:
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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emilystrange wrote:But bourbons are horrible!
Heresy!
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EvilBastard
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emilystrange wrote:But bourbons are horrible!
BURN HER! :P
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emilystrange
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ALL CREAM BISCUITS ARE THE DEVIL'S WORK along with mince pies
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EvilBastard
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You're right - all cream biscuits are the work of Satan and all his little goblins, created for the sole purpose of distancing us from god and preventing us from having a deeply meaningful, spiritual, and intimate relationship with her. I speak here principally of the Custard Cream, which is neither custard nor cream.
However, despite their name, Bourbons are not "cream" biscuits. The filling is made from a mixture of the belly-floof of the tiniest kittins, unicorn farts, and the tears of angels, but since that's a difficult thing to put on a packet they opted for "cream" instead.

Mince pies are a gift from god to remind us of her love for all of us regardless of colour, creed, gender identity and sexual orientation, at a time of the year which is stressful for many. Is it not true that at the end of the meal she did turn to her disciples and distribute mince pies saying, "These are my pies which I baked for you and for many. Eat oft in remembrance of me, and please ignore the fact that Uncle Barry is a dreadful old gammon even though we knows he's been carrying on with that Filippino nurse at Auntie Mabel's care-home for years (Eduardo sends his love by the way, Bazzer). Now, since I did all the bloody work you ungrateful buggers can do the dishes while I watch the Bond fillum."
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iesus
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I remember when i was younger that i could do the same thing did by that fellow with bourbons with this choko cookies

Image

Does this count as achievement? ;D :notworthy:
'Are we the Baddies?'...
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Swinnow
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Those Choko Cookies do appear to be a distant cousin of the beloved bourbon. Might just treat myself to a pot of tea and a plate of said bourbons while watching Tranmere Rovers on telly this aft.
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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