Newsworthy continued: EEEEEEEENINp'ts!

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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None of those here:
http://teamrock.com/feature/2015-10-29/ ... hs-grow-up
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
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EvilBastard
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I demand to be put on the Gothic Valley WI's "Calendar Girl" mailing list!!!! :lol: :lol:
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Pista
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Let's not quibble about who wrote a poem about Erdogan having sex with a goat & let's focus instead on my wonderful, fully functioning Turkish-made washing machine
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eastmidswhizzkid
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Pista wrote:Let's not quibble about who wrote a poem about Erdogan having sex with a goat & let's focus instead on my wonderful, fully functioning Turkish-made washing machine
christ, the man's a buffoon. like steve jone's says, "if you look like an arsehole and you talk like an arsehole then you're an arsehole."
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
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Pista
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eastmidswhizzkid wrote:
Pista wrote:Let's not quibble about who wrote a poem about Erdogan having sex with a goat & let's focus instead on my wonderful, fully functioning Turkish-made washing machine
christ, the man's a buffoon. like steve jone's says, "if you look like an arsehole and you talk like an arsehole then you're an arsehole."
Aye. He really does justify this doesn't he?
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Pista
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Indian police have taken the pigeon into custody
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iesus
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Pista wrote:Indian police have taken the pigeon into custody
oh my...

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'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
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Pista
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Police in Dundee appeal to the public for information on why did the chicken cross the road?
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iesus
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Not the Cats....
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
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iesus
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VirginWife.vs."Anaconda"
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
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eastmidswhizzkid
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iesus wrote:Not the Cats....
i know theyve still not worked out that 49 virgns divided by eternity doesn't go but outlawing pussy is surely promoting man-love, which is haram.
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
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eastmidswhizzkid
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i have no sympathy for anyone that well-endowed who hasnt thanked his lucky stars and gone into porn.
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
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EvilBastard
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eastmidswhizzkid wrote:
i have no sympathy for anyone that well-endowed who hasnt thanked his lucky stars and gone into porn.
Reminds me of my father's brother, William. Family legend has it that he was getting amorous with our neighbour who, upon seeing his immense appendage, confused it with a legless reptile and assaulted it with a garden implement, thereby reducing its length by almost 50%.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
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eastmidswhizzkid
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a subtractor rather than an adder? :innocent:
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
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million voices
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Rather than the neighbour maybe he would have been better off with a hoe.
Well you must know something
'Cos we're dying of admiration here
Mastering obscure alternatives
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eastmidswhizzkid
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:lol: a hoe would have just left him feeling all fore-lawn........i'll get me coat.
. :innocent:
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
:bat:
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Pista
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Seems the Galaxy Nope 7 has a use after all
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EvilBastard
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Man waits 11 hours for a cup of tea.
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Pista
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Saw this in the evening standard & my first thought was, "What the hell is a wi-fi kettle?"
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EvilBastard
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Pista wrote:
Saw this in the evening standard & my first thought was, "What the hell is a wi-fi kettle?"
What's a wi-fi kettle? Easy: "Wife, I want a cup of tea - go put the kettle on."
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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EvilBastard
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Leonard Cohen: 'I am ready to die'
The big change is the proximity to death. I am a tidy kind of guy. I like to tie up the strings if I can. If I can’t, that’s OK. But my natural thrust is to finish things that I’ve begun.
So by that logic, :von: has to be ready to die before we get a new album?
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markfiend
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XKCD predicted the future again - this from a couple of weeks ago:
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The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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iesus
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Is it true that 5 pounds can play vinyl records ? :lol:

*Edit - Another one!!! :eek:
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
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Pista
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iesus wrote:Is it true that 5 pounds can play vinyl records ? :lol:

*Edit - Another one!!! :eek:
It is indeed. & there was us seeing reports that the British currency was now next to useless.
Apparently the fiver was downgraded to a fourer
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Pista
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What if only goats voted in the US presidential election?

Or goths?
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