The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

[SmileySister]

i seriously feel like an alien in this thread of biscuit munchers...

absolutely the last if ever thing i want to eat of all the food groups in the world. and tea...seriously what is this tea and a cookie* the name of a biscuit in other countries. tea if you are sick okay but as general go between beverage?

no not me. coffee black and a smoke and i'm good

Coffee and a ciggie is definitely right up my street

[MadameButterfly]

Coffee and a ciggie is definitely right up my street

you & I can now be best friends

[MadameButterfly]

I was going to say 'weirdos' but remembered where we are
toast should be dipped in soup or egg! or have cheese and baked beans on. or marmalade.

these people are f**king weird miss!
what you said about toast being dipped into i agree and then just add marmite..toast with butter/marg and marmite ooo..then with cheese on top

[MadameButterfly]

If you're dipping toast into any kind of drink it ought to be hot chocolate.

f**king weirdo! only you in this world would dip toast in hot chocolate
if you dunk into hot chocolate then it's with a rusk.
live & learn

[Pista]

If you're dipping toast into any kind of drink it ought to be hot chocolate.

f**king weirdo! only you in this world would dip toast in hot chocolate
if you dunk into hot chocolate then it's with a rusk.
live & learn

Fcuk hot chocolate.
But rusks?
I funning love Farley's Rusks .
Why do babies get the best biscuits?

[MadameButterfly]

If you're dipping toast into any kind of drink it ought to be hot chocolate.

f**king weirdo! only you in this world would dip toast in hot chocolate
if you dunk into hot chocolate then it's with a rusk.
live & learn

Fcuk hot chocolate.
But rusks?
I funning love Farley's Rusks .
Why do babies get the best biscuits?

because they can only suck?

[emilystrange]

Pista, you are SO right

[Debaser]

We currently have an unnatural desire to rid the shops of Tunnocks Tea Cakes.

[markfiend]

Tunnocks Tea Cakes.

Homer Simpson drooling noises

[Debaser]

Tunnocks Tea Cakes.

Homer Simpson drooling noises

sticky drool - they is awful sticky beasties.

[markfiend]

With Tunnock's Tea Cakes, what do you do with the foil? Do you roll it into a little ball or smooth it out into a flat sheet?

[Debaser]

With Tunnock's Tea Cakes, what do you do with the foil? Do you roll it into a little ball or smooth it out into a flat sheet?

I'm a smooooooth it out kinda gal whereas big sis has a biscuit tinfoil ball that is the size of a 7" single - she's tried to stop adding but can't - she tried to stop at a cricket ball size but here she is with an almost volleyball size thing!

[Ian1971]

Wife just gave me a chocolate Hobnob, it was pretty great. No dunking occurred.

[emilystrange]

With Tunnock's Tea Cakes, what do you do with the foil? Do you roll it into a little ball or smooth it out into a flat sheet?

smoothing. i used to spend ages as a kid doing that

[iesus]

39 pages discussion for Biscuits and not even one recipe to make them
Any good recipe around?

[OLDFART]

Opened a pack of chocolate digestives earlier and a quarter of the pack was fresh air ! , can't believe how much it wound me up

[Damaged+Done]

Opened a pack of chocolate digestives earlier and a quarter of the pack was fresh air ! , can't believe how much it wound me up

That is outrageous, especially when there is never enough in a pack anyway!

[Pista]

39 pages discussion for Biscuits and not even one recipe to make them
Any good recipe around?

These are really easy & funning lush

Nigella Lawson’s Mine-All-Mine Sweet and Salty Chocolate Cookies

Makes 2 large cookies

Ingredients
50g plain flour (or gluten-free plain flour)
10g cocoa
⅛ tsp baking powder (gluten-free if necessary)
⅛ tsp bicarbonate of soda
⅛ tsp fine sea salt
50g soft unsalted butter (or dairy-free baking block if you want these to be vegan)
25g caster sugar
15g soft dark brown sugar
¼ tsp vanilla extract
25g dark chocolate chips
¼ tsp sea salt flakes

Destructions
1. Heat the oven to 180ºC/160ºC Fan, and get out a – preferably light-coloured – baking sheet. You don’t need to line it if it’s non-stick; otherwise, lie a sheet of baking parchment on it.

2. Stir the flour, cocoa, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda and fine sea salt together in a small bowl just to combine them.

3. In a slightly larger bowl – I use a pudding basin that I now can’t look at without thinking of these cookies – vigorously beat the butter, both the sugars and the vanilla with a small wooden spoon until you have a buff-coloured and creamy mixture. If you aren’t a messy person, you could use a cereal bowl for this.

4. Add a generous spoonful of the dry ingredients to the creamed butter and sugar and beat it in gently with your wooden spoon. Then – still gently, unless you want cocoa and flour all over the place – beat in the rest of your dry ingredients, in about three batches. Once the dry ingredients are absorbed, you can beat vigorously until you have a sticky, rich-brown dough, that clumps together, at which point you can stir in the chocolate chips.

5. It’s not often I demand this level of precision, but I now weigh this mixture, and divide it in two; you don’t need to be fanatical about this, a few grams here or there won’t make the difference. Squidge each half in your hands to form two fat patties about 7cm in diameter and place them on your baking sheet, at least 10cm apart, as they spread while cooking.

6. Sprinkle ⅛ teaspoon of sea salt flakes over each cookie, and bake in the oven for about 12 minutes, until the top of each biscuit is riven with cracks. At 10 minutes – which is when I start checking – they will be utterly smooth, but in the next 2 minutes they seem to transform themselves. I crouch by the oven, staring through the cloudy glass door feeling like, as the old Joan Rivers joke has it (and forgive me if you’ve heard me tell this before), Elizabeth Taylor shouting ‘Hurry!’ at the microwave.

7. Once the surface is cracked, and the cookies have spread, they are ready. They will, however, feel very soft – even uncooked – to the touch, and you will doubt me. But I will forgive you, as long as you obey me. So whip out the baking sheet, leaving the cookies in place for 5 minutes. Only then may you slip a metal spatula under the cookies and tenderly transfer them to a wire rack. For optimal eating pleasure, leave for another 10 minutes before biting into one. I often succumb after 5, which is perfectly permissible, I feel, though I should warn you that the biscuit is unlikely to hold its shape by then. But in times of urgent need, such matters of form scarcely matter.

[iesus]

Yeap, now we are talking about it right
Will try the recipe this week. Just a quick, if i double the ingrediants will take i take double cookie, right?
Thank you

[Pista]

Yeap, now we are talking about it right
Will try the recipe this week. Just a quick, if i double the ingrediants will take i take double cookie, right?
Thank you

Yep. Double the qtys for double the cookies. The cookies are about the size of a cd & they are VERY chocolatey.

[EvilBastard]

You know me well enough by now to know that I am a tolerant individual, and that FUCT has softened its stance on many tea-related heresies which in less-enlightened times would have seen the perpetrator impaled on a pink wafer and his extremities submerged in luke-warm overly-milked Liptons tea until they rotted away.

But while we no longer maintain an arsenal of instruments of savagery that were the only thing standing between the church militant and the forces of darkness, we retain a cadre of the more militant churchgoers who stand ready to defend the faith in times of dire emergency.

I believe that such a time is upon us today. I call upon all of you, the faithful, the never-swerving from the path of tannin-infused righteousness, to stand up and be counted, to let your voices be heard above those of the sinners and the non-believers, the blasphemers and the apostates, the false prophets and the followers of the wide and downward-sloping path, to heed FUCT's call to arms and banish these people from this earthly plane.

[Pista]

Haha.
I was firmly expecting this to get posted today

[Being645]

[abridged]

This was inevitable. This dunking perversion starts with biccies and ends up with sausage rolls. The world is doomed I tells you. Doomed!

[Debaser]

Today, I have been mostly eating Border Butterscotch Crunch but secretly am hankering after a Lemon Puff or three.