Heartland

Not only does he have to console himself with the fact that he looks like Rick Astley, but it has now been reported that were he lives is the worst place in the UK.

<giggles>

Not having much luck are you? Greasy chip?

Shh! He's still upset he lost the road saftey gig....

Yeah but he's king of the golfing tournament.

I was gonna stop being mean to him, but he made fun of my socks

I'm never gonna stop making fun of him. It's far too entertaining.



What's up with your socks?

I saw that programme last night..

Very high crime statistics apparently. This of course includes GBH (greviously bad haircut)....

Nowt wrong with my socks! How dare you suggest anything of the sort! my socks are lovley!

d00mw0lf wrote:Nowt wrong with my socks! How dare you suggest anything of the sort! my socks are lovley!

Hmmmmmmm. Why don't I believe you?

It's them prawns. Don't listen to 'em peanut, they'll lead you astray!

And people wonder why I'm a gibbering, neurotic wreck of a man with an inordinate fear of anything with a double-X chromosome!

Can I just make it very clear I wasn't born here? I've obviously been sent here to some kind of cultural and social Siberia which, other than routinely being voted the worst place to live - even more so than Salford - is now apparently straining the belt. *sigh*

I was actually rang by a friend further south than me just to tell me, incase I missed the show. I'm so glad I've got you lot to prevent me from ever getting arrogant. Or even confident.

Now feck orf!

It's yer own fault for dissing my socks.

Your socks defied the laws of physics; they had more holes than the average plot-line of Eastenders! Seriously folk, you could get a small car through the gaps between d00m's toes

They're supposed to be like that!

d00mw0lf wrote:They're supposed to be like that!

Has herr Sinister got webbed feet?

Guess that's pretty normal in his part of the world - the gene pool's just about as murky as the waters of the Humber...

This isn't helping you is it Timmy dear?

boudicca wrote:

d00mw0lf wrote:They're supposed to be like that!

Has herr Sinister got webbed feet?

Guess that's pretty normal in his part of the world - the gene pool's just about as murky as the waters of the Humber...

This isn't helping you is it Timmy dear?

I didn't actually get to see the feet of sinsiter. I was too busy explaining that my socks are lovley.

Getting d00m off her rants can be nigh on impossible, hence she never noticed the horrible state of my feet. A warm day, a hot bar, a steaming gig? Not pretty.

For your information, I wasn't born here; I was gestated in a US Army research laboratory. The first human being with sixty percent hairgel instead of DNA.

timsinister wrote:Getting d00m off her rants can be nigh on impossible, hence she never noticed the horrible state of my feet. A warm day, a hot bar, a steaming gig? Not pretty.

For your information, I wasn't born here; I was gestated in a US Army research laboratory. The first human being with sixty percent hairgel instead of DNA.

Now then, none of that's true, is it?

d00mw0lf wrote:

timsinister wrote:Getting d00m off her rants can be nigh on impossible, hence she never noticed the horrible state of my feet. A warm day, a hot bar, a steaming gig? Not pretty.

For your information, I wasn't born here; I was gestated in a US Army research laboratory. The first human being with sixty percent hairgel instead of DNA.

Now then, none of that's true, is it?

Who knows? It'd take some disproving.

Because we all know he's 80% Rick astley - you can't be 80% astley and 60% hairgel....

Sportspeople are constantly asked to give 110%. Why can't Tim be 140%?

I really don't think Timmykins is 140% anything
only 89% of him really exists as it is....

d00mw0lf wrote:I really don't think Timmykins is 140% anything
only 89% of him really exists as it is....

What happened to the other 11%? Down FFS Dave's toilet?

Very possibly!

boudicca wrote:

d00mw0lf wrote:I really don't think Timmykins is 140% anything
only 89% of him really exists as it is....

What happened to the other 11%? Down FFS Dave's toilet?

Thanks for that Claire I'mnow suffering a psychosomatic flashback.

Marky, I was nice to you, couldn't you be a top bloke and CLOSE THIS THREAD FOR ME?